It’s very easy for people who are not where you are sitting to point a finger and say, “but why? You should! How come?” etc. Especially when they are close to you and love you very much.
I know in my heart that every person that tells me I need to start on meds is doing it because of their own personal fear of what will happen to me if I don’t. It may also be because they have come to believe that medication is the only solution to health. And then there are a bunch of other subconscious reasons, which I won’t explore here.
Even last week I had a friend say to me: “but you’re not going to eat nuts? or tofu? or beans? or chocolate? or processed food? or…. isn’t that restrictive?”
She was saying it as a precaution.. a warning… a sincere question. But in reality, I have 2 choices from where I see it. 1). Restrict the food I eat OR 2). Restrict my life. What? Basically, I feel that by choosing to eliminate certain foods, I am giving my body freedom and health to function properly. Now, does that seem like a hard choice to you? When you are not sick, it may. But when you have various body dysfunctions and food may cure them, there is only one real choice.
Back to the theme… 12 years ago I argued with the people who are closest to me about why I should or should not take medication. And through the act of arguing (in case it isn’t clear I refused to take medication) I ended up putting so much energy on fighting that I was unable to feel good. I was constantly holding on to anger, my defenses were constantly up and ready for another fight and I began to feel hatred towards other people’s opinions. I refused to talk about my situation in order to stop the unwanted noise around me. I began judging others the same way they were judging me.
I was young. I didn’t know how to express myself as well as I do today and I didn’t even know exactly what I was feeling or wanting other than support. And I wasn’t getting what I needed. So I pushed everyone away including myself and ignored it.
So, when I recently heard the confirmed diagnosis, the judgment, questioning, disbelief and fear started again. This time however, I confronted it head on rather than got caught up in it. (mind you, I’ve had my moments of being caught up as well)
I have and will continue to explain that I choose to use my energy towards healing myself. I will not engage ANYone who wants to fight that. The more time I have to put into arguing with someone about why medication is not right for me is less energy I have to put into my own health. I am more than happy to answer questions, or talk about it with someone, but when someone brings their own judgments and puts them on me, I will walk away from them. My livelihood, my energy, my intention will only be placed where I want my life to go… towards health. I hope everyone can support me in this decision, even if it does not agree with how you would choose to take care of yourself.
My next blog I will start to write about the overwhelming amount of information on the internet for alternative ways to healing and how this is a major cause of frustration and hindrance for many people who want to heal themselves naturally but have difficulty because…
1. the information on the internet is too fickle and daunting and there is no one source to go to for all the information one is seeking; especially since we are used to having one cure for everyone whereas a natural path acknowledges that there is a different healing process for each individual person
2. it’s too emotionally stressful to make a good decision, especially when you are fighting everyone you love about making a healthy choice for yourself
3. the fear of not taking meds is too great because of what we have learned about our illness/disease
4. to seek treatment outside of the normal realm, is very, very, very expensive.
I will share the courses of action I am taking while I open my mind and body to new information and choose the treatment that feels best for me. I am so honored and grateful to have been chosen by my parents. They are here to support me financially and only now, when I have learned how to express myself without anger, they are also able to support me emotionally and through my own healing. I would even go so far as to say that they understand why I am choosing this path and are excited for me to start this journey. (but still scared that I’m not taking meds)
I would like to conclude by saying, “Wow, I feel so overwhelmed with joy and love to start my healing process.” People have been reaching out to me from all over the world and I have been discovering so many wonderful healers and healing modalities that I had no idea existed that I feel so fortunate to have had this experience so that I can open myself up to what is out there!!